The age old question about mindset, and the power of positive thinking. Some people say it's nonsense - how's viewing the same thing differently going to help you fill the glass? Should I focus on what I have or don't have? How will this change?
There have been a lot of things on my mind of late...and I've written and rewritten this blog post at least 5 times over, but it feels like there's something stuck. My Silwood Genius once said that worrying is like sitting on a rocking chair, and rocking yourself back and forth. It gets you nowhere, but it gives you something to do.
So what have I been up to since the last post?
I handed my resignation a month ago (shock! surprise!)... and as much as I believed that I was taking the right step to my dreams, I started to have mild panic attacks. It was nice to have a dream in the far distance - something crazy like building a school in 10 years' time to bridge the gap between school and work - it sounds so glorious and inspiring...But it's far from nice when you have the sudden realisation that the vision you had in your mind was not as clear as you thought you had. Your stomach sinks.
Do I really want to do this? Will it even work? I'm not ready, I thought. I'm still too young. I only just qualified as a Chartered Accountant this year, without commercial experience. I want to do personal development, and make a difference...but I don't have any relevant experience, or qualifications or backing. I want to make a difference in people's lives, but will I even be able to find an audience who will pay me for my services? I also need to be able to feed myself before I can be charitable. I wanted a break. I wanted to run away. I wanted to hide. I wanted to just pretend like nothing has changed. I wanted to see if there were other alternatives I could look into, to find some financial freedom and focus without stress on my passion....this...was me rocking in the rocking chair. Rocking back and forth. Back and forth. I don't have. I still need so much more. Who am I to speak to small businesses when I don't even have one yet? I wanted to motivate others to build and be great...and I couldn't do that for myself. *poof!*invisibility cloak on*...
Nope...it didn't work. I am still here.
I thought about how people tell their tales on stage when they're successful. The befores and afters. How they went from poor, broke, bankrupt, in debt...and then they were so hungry for success that they focused, they worked hard, they let everything go for their dreams... and now they're super rich and successful, and they're here to help you. Les Brown, Brendon Burchard, Robert Kiyosaki, Chris Gardner...the list goes on...
And then I remembered something in my sessions of self-pity - something that I should have remembered from Brendon Burchard and Robin Banks. Brendon didn't have much growing up, but he lived in total abundance until it was physically true. Robin Banks tells of John Kehoe's focus on abundance in his time of physical lack...He walked around, and appreciated everything he had, and now he has even more than you can imagine.
Yes, it's a different perspective. I learnt at T. Harv Eker's Enlightened Warrior's Power: the mind solving the problem cannot be the same as the mind creating the problem. I need a different perspective.
If there's anything that you should learn from meeting my older sister, is that...unlike me, she naturally focuses on what she has, instead of what she doesn't. In so doing, she is one of the most resourceful people you will ever meet. Tony Robbins once said: "It's not resources but resourcefulness that ultimately makes the difference." This is my older sister.
I was so focused on what I didn't have that I was dis-empowering myself. I was comparing myself to people who have already made it, and how much I needed to still grow. I was impatient, scared, doubtful - so doubtful about my dream, that I was stuck in the "how" - how do i accomplish this dream - I was so focused on how little I had now to accomplish it now, that I didn't give myself space to think about what I did have.
"Start where you are. Use what you have. Do what you can." - Arthur Ashe
What do I have?
I have a solid qualification. I have a set of highly marketable skills in the industry. I have a passion about developing people. I love balance. I have support from friends and family. I know people. I have so many resources at my disposal, if I asked. All I had to do was pluck up some courage and ask! Open my mouth! What I can do now... is do research in what's out there in terms of the accounting space...and start figuring out how I can add value, and solve some real world problems.
"What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny compared to what lies within us" - Ralph Waldo Emerson
Too many of us think about our inadequacies. But what we have, already, is enough to take us to the next step, to learn what we need to learn, and to grow in the areas we need to grow and allow us to meet the people we need to meet. If we do not grow ourselves, we cannot manage more. This is why people who win the lottery cannot retain it. So don't want more, until you grow more! It's okay to take one step back to take two steps forward consistently, but not two steps forward suddenly...and getting stuck there because you had not practised the skill of walking.
So I finally sat down to do my budget today. For the first time, I realised...that I actually have been wasting so much of my money, because I didn't have a goal, because I was trying to fill another void,.... because I thought I didn't have enough clothes! I also realised, that I was capable of saving when I had a goal. I have 3 months to live and make it work, until I'm completely hungry. People always complain about not earning enough money, and find a way to prove themselves right by making the money disappear...trust me, I'm no longer doing that anymore.
So I leaped! And today, was my first day of ...not emptiness, not unemployment but rather self-employment :)...and ABUNDANCE! It's okay that I don't know exactly where to place my foot for my next step, I'm just going to decide on my next step, and if that does not bear results, I will just readjust.
Let go of yesterday. Plan for tomorrow. But live for today!
Yours in Appreciation
Donna
Ps. Thank you to all my friends and family for all your support, and your faith in me. Without you, I would still would be floundering.
To my friends at the company with the four blue boxes.... Thank you for adding to me in a significant way. And YES! I will miss you :) and our interactions.
#Charlie's Angels #WhereIsCharlie #Mogatu #PIC #meangirls #A-Team #myPerson #JFK #live #fancy #loanshark #v2 # trustee
"When you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it." - Paulo Coelho
