Oprah once said that when you think you've learned a lesson, the Universe will test you.
I've been wondering what the lesson is that I was supposed to learn in the last month. It's been very frustrating, and I keep asking myself a lot of questions...I don't think all of them are relevant to my situation. Some, when asked, make me feel powerless, demotivated and downright trapped. As dramatic as it sounds, I was so distressed that I felt like I was dying inside. I didn't have time to do the things that I was passionate about anymore, and the thing that I thought I was passionate about...turned out to be something that was draining me. I would reach the end of the day, frustrated. I would pass out on my bed, and dread the next day. It's unbecoming, considering how far I've come. Was I prepared to do what was hard so that my life would be easy? (T. Harv Eker)
I still don't know what the lesson is. I have just observed one thing...that when I become really busy, I throw everything out the window. In the "Pursuit of Happyness", I throw out my health, the things and the people I love...All the things that are important to me.
I promised myself after my health scare at the end of last year...that I would look after myself. And here I was, perpetuating the cycle. I could hear my mom's voice in my head. I suppose dreams will still be dreams if I don't have the health to pursue them...
I need to put myself first. My health first.
I was reading the THE ALCHEMIST (by Paulo Coelho) last night, and I came across the The story of the
Two Drops of Oil:
A merchant sent his son to learn the Secret of Happiness from the wisest of men. The young man wandered through the desert for forty days until he reached a beautiful castle at the top of a mountain. There lived the sage that the young man was looking for.
However, instead of finding a holy man, our hero entered a room and saw a great deal of activity; merchants coming and going, people chatting in the corners, a small orchestra playing sweet melodies, and there was a table laden with the most delectable dishes of that part of the world.
The wise man talked to everybody, and the young man had to wait for two hours until it was time for his audience.
The Sage listened attentively to the reason for the boy’s visit, but told him that at that moment he did not have the time to explain to him the Secret of Happiness.
He suggested that the young man take a stroll around his palace and come back in two hours’ time.
“However, I want to ask you a favor,” he added, handling the boy a teaspoon, in which he poured two drops of oil. “While you walk, carry this spoon and don’t let the oil spill.”
The young man began to climb up and down the palace staircases, always keeping his eyes fixed on the spoon. At the end of two hours he returned to the presence of the wise man.
“So,” asked the sage, “did you see the Persian tapestries hanging in my dining room? Did you see the garden that the Master of Gardeners took ten years to create? Did you notice the beautiful parchments in my library?”
Embarrassed, the young man confessed that he had seen nothing. His only concern was not to spill the drops of oil that the wise man had entrusted to him.
“So, go back and see the wonders of my world,” said the wise man. “You can’t trust a man if you don’t know his house.”
Now more at ease, the young man took the spoon and strolled again through the palace, this time paying attention to all the works of art that hung from the ceiling and walls.He saw the gardens, the mountains all around the palace, the delicacy of the flowers, the taste with which each work of art was placed in its niche. Returning to the sage, he reported in detail all that he had seen.
“But where are the two drops of oil that I entrusted to you?” asked the sage.
Looking down at the spoon, the young man realized that he had spilled the oil.
“Well, that is the only advice I have to give you,” said the sage of sages.
“The Secret of Happiness lies in looking at all the wonders of the world and never forgetting the two drops of oil in the spoon.”
My new found friend, JFK once told me...as I was balancing my full cup of tea while walking to my desk, to look up and look forward, while walking with a full cup. As ironic as it sounds, he said that's what keeps you from spilling. It was true. The more I stared and focused on my cup, the slower I walked, and the more the tea wobbled in my cup.
It was this ironic situation that found me a friend in the Trustee. (Yes, overfilling my cup seems to be my problem.) "So where's my cup of tea?" he laughed later...as I walked to my desk unaware of my surroundings. Yup.
It's time to look up, Donna Chiang. Balance and joy is not found burying yourself in the sorrows of your heavy footsteps. It is not found in the cup when look down into the watery mystery and by ignoring the world around you. Balance is found when looking up. And progress lies while looking forward, even though you may not know yet where your path will take you. And joy is found in the gratitude of being alive, and appreciating the ones around you and what you have.
In my times of confusion and mild anxiety curbing on depression...I'd like to impart this:
I have really amazing people in my life. Somehow, without asking, the friends and family have found me when I didn't have the courage to ask for help. When I look up, I see YOU smiling back at me, and that has made all the difference.
THANK YOU for being in my life.
Chin Up!
Walking forward!
Looking Up!
Yours..in appreciation
Donna
