Being Vulnerable

I watched a TED talk yesterday which showed Brene Brown speaking about the  power of vulnerability. WOW!!! I subsequently watched more of her in other interviews.

I came away with this:

As a society we have lost our ability to deeply feel. We live in so much more abundance than we ever did before, but so many of us have a scarcity mindset - a feeling of not being good enough. 

Subsequently, when we face feelings of pain, depression, anxiety, vulnerability, we numb it - we hide from what we're truly are thinking and feeling. We numb them with medication, drugs, alcohol, being busy, distracting ourselves with TV, social media, we comfort eat, we go and do some retail therapy...When we numb ourselves of the undesired emotions, we also decrease our capacity of experiencing the amazing emotions of joy, happiness, and love. 

Why do we numb our pain, I thought? 

Perhaps we don't know how to deal with it and making it go away is just easier. We don't have the time, because we have pressing matters to deal with. We hide our true feelings for the fear of appearing weak or being judged. We check our true selves at the door, and we wonder how we got to the place when we feel like we are no longer at ease with ourselves, we don't know who we are anymore. We then seek a greater purpose and meaning. We search for ourselves.

In a way when we're vulnerable we're being honest. Brene says that vulnerability is the birthplace of creativity and a lot of other amazing things.

My favourite quote: "Being vulnerable is not the same as being weak." But you need to be audience appropriate when you share. "Share your story with someone who has earned the rights to hear your story!"

If you would like to watch Brene Brown's TED TALK:

http://youtu.be/iCvmsMzlF7o

Oprah's interview:

http://youtu.be/4XTcB1evO8c

Chase Jarvis's interview:

http://youtu.be/kAk4cwjvJ0A

Books to read: by Brene Brown

The Gifts of Imperfection

Daring Greatly

Reflections of 10 year old matriculant

So it was our 10 year high school reunion this weekend.

Was it really something worth going to? I wondered to myself, as I was packing my bags. I didn't enjoy high school, and I haven't kept in touch with majority of the people I matriculated with. All I remember was just waiting to get out! It was going to be awkward...and the fact that less than 13% of our group RSVP'd was not encouraging. I wondered if the other people were feeling what I was feeling. I wondered if I was going to make new friends...*aherm* I told myself that I must keep an open mind. WTF!? Donna...Why on earth did you RSVP!!!!

Then my Trustee said to me: "It's because you love people, Donna."

Really?

Anyways, I rocked up, and it turned out to be quite cool despite the turnout.

Surprisingly, I had a few takeaways from the reunion:

- They say that time changes people. I discovered that people only become more of who they really are over time. They are just more confident in themselves. There will always be the people you connect with, and those you don't and that's fine.

- I gained perspective. I thought I missed out on some friendships because I was not assertive enough - or social enough because I felt I had to be studying the whole time to get straight A's...but I realised that the people that I was friends with, were all the friends I needed.

- I have always put wayyy too much pressure on myself, one example is deciding on my destination. 10 years ago, it was becoming a doctor or CA. Now I'm a CA...and it's been eating away at me as to where my next destination is going to be, and it has cost me some sanity and some time. One of the guys said to me on Saturday: "Sometimes you don't need to know where the destination is, just enjoy the journey. It's more exciting that way." Thank you. And yes, you will meet more people on the way, who will add to who you are.

- Most importantly, I realised how much I've grown. This reunion was more about me than it was about the people I went to school with. People will come and go at various stages of your life, the only consistent person in your life is you (and your family).  Are you happy with who you've turned out to be?

All in all, realized that I missed being around people. My trustee is right. I love people. Even though I haven't felt very good about myself lately with the lack of progress, I love people. I love being around people. I love it when people speak their truths.  I love connecting. Oh, I miss it. Each person brings out something different out of you, and you're always learning about yourself when you are with others.

'Nuffffff of being a hermit! Go forth and mingle!